Crouch Rocket to Hell (or Heaven)

David Wilcox performing "Eye of the Hurricane":

...Tell the truth, explain to me,
How you got this need for speed
She laughed and said "it might just be
The next best thing to love."
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I was on I-55 this morning a little before 7, listening to "Mike and Mike" on the radio, relaxed because traffic was light, and cruising at about 70. I glanced in the rear view mirror and that relaxed feeling went away in an instant. A single headlight was coming up in the lane beside me at an alarming rate of speed. I tensed up, focused fully on the road ahead, and tightened my grip on the steering wheel.

A couple of seconds later a "crouch rocket" motorcycle came flying by and quickly disappeared from sight. We've all had this experience before, but this was different. He pulled away from me like I was sitting on the side of the road watching traffic go by. My guess is that he was going 140 mph through the early morning darkness. Maybe it was 130, maybe it was 150--I'm not sure that the exact speed really matters once you get significantly above the 3-digit mark.

It must have been thrilling for the driver, a rush of pure adrenalin unlike anything I can remember experiencing in my life.  Torso parallel to the ground only 3 feet above the pavement, everything around you is a blur, passing other vehicles like they were standing still.  Add in the excitement of knowing it was a life or death moment.  A blown out tire, a 2 by 4 in the road, a dog darting out from the median--seemingly small events in life that most likely would send you to hell or heaven in a heartbeat.  For those willing to take the risk, what a rush that must be.

I'm not willing to take that risk.  Being passed by this speed demon was more excitement than I wanted on my way to work.  Hopefully this motorcyclist will get all of his thrills of a lifetime out of his system before they become the last thrills of his lifetime--and before his suicide runs take out a few innocent bystanders.

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While this biker was covering 2 miles per minute this morning, it took me just over 30 minutes to cover my 2 miles at the YMCA track this afternoon.  As was my method on Tuesday, my outing was mostly walking with a few short stretches of slow jogging.  The jogging felt much better today and I increased the distance and the frequency of the jogs.  It was still very pitiful, which is actually a good sign because on Tuesday it was very, very pitiful.  Progress is being made and maybe by the end of March things will start to feel much more comfortable.  For now, my only goal is to get out for another 2 mile walk/jog this weekend.  I need to focus on that instead of how things will be at the end of March.

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This weekend is the Mal's St. Paddy Parade in Jackson.  Lots of photo opportunities at the kids area and pet parade in the morning and then the main parade in the early afternoon.  Then there are bunches of bands playing all over the downtown area.  My schedule is still uncertain.

I have been leaning towards doing nothing at all.  Last year was the first year since 2004 that I didn't take photographs.  It is so much work and then I don't really have any use for the photos--and as we saw early this week, I don't get credit when someone else has a use for the photos.  Regarding the videos, I'm just not certain that I want to be at a festivity where everyone else is having so much fun and I'm "working" instead of having fun as well.

However, tonight I stopped at McDades and ran into a musician I like.  I took two videos of him at Hal and Mal's about a month ago.  He was so appreciative of my efforts.  This musician is playing at CS's Restaurant tomorrow afternoon and who knows, maybe I'll go by and shoot some videos.  Then things will probably just sort of get going and I'll probably be at the Ole Tavern to shoot Taylor's band on Saturday.  I'm an idiot, a sucker, or a nice guy.  Some of all I guess.  Well anyway, Happy St. Patrick's Day to all and have a great weekend.  Be green and be safe.

What if...

What if I invested in myself one-tenth of what I invest in others?  What would be the result of that?  Don't think we'll ever find out.  Sometimes I really long for the days when my big complaint was, "I'm bored--there's nothing to do."

Reliving a bit of the past

I was listening to music at work today and decided to check out a big batch of songs that were some of my favorites in the 1990's.  It was a decision symbolic of me wanting to get back to things that I've been missing in recent years.  I enjoyed hearing some of those old favorites, including a lot of songs by Michelle Shocked.  The song "Anchorage" (video above) would definitely fall somewhere in my list of "The 100 Songs I Love the Most".  Of course, trying to actually identify the 100 songs I love the most would be a totally impossible task.

A second effort to get back to things from my past was much more significant.  I went jogging.  I sort of went jogging.  Okay, I went walking and occasionally jogged very short distances.  It is a very minor beginning, but at least it is a beginning.

Being a slow walker and being horribly out of shape, it would be difficult for me to cover a mile in under 15 minutes.  That's an accurate assessment, not an exaggeration.  When I was a short, fat 10 year old entering the 6th grade I could do better than that.  It's appalling that my fitness level has reached such a low.  However, it is what it is. 

Today I walked on the 1-mile track at the downtown YMCA and periodically burst into stretches of jogging 100 steps.  Yeah, that's really pitiful, especially since only the most astute observer would have detected any acceleration at all.  I used this method to cover 2 miles in about 35-36 minutes.  My plan it to put in 2 more miles this Thursday and then another 2 miles on the weekend.  At that point I'll either get to feeling a little more acclimated --or-- my knees, hips, ankles, and back will revolt against this sudden increase in activity. 

Maybe next week I can jog for 200 step stretches and then after that I can shoot for very slow quarter miles.  The idea of shuffling a complete mile non-stop is a goal that might be in the distant future.  That's sad, but there's no use crying over lost endurance.  I just need to get back in the game and see what kind of progress I can make.  Recapturing the fitness part of my old self would be a huge boost to my life in general.  It's an effort I have to make and there's no reasonable excuse for putting it off any longer.

Published Photos for What It's Worth

Yesterday I saw on facebook a link to the VisitSouth website story Mal’s St. Paddy’s Parade, Jackson, MS. The small photo that accompanied the story looked very similar to a photo I had taken that year. Extremely similar would be more like it. Turns out they did use one of my photos for the story. 

This is my photo cropped to match the photo used on VisitSouth.  It's an exact match all the way down to the half a hand jutting into the photo at the bottom right.  Did I get a photo credit?  Of course not.  The credit was listed as "Photo courtesy of Mal's St. Paddy's Parade".  I posted the photo somewhere on the internet, someone did a right click to copy, and there goes my ownership for all practical purposes.

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Today I received an email from a friend asking to use some of my photos in an upcoming issue of the local alternative newspaper. There was even mention of being paid, but shoot, my photos are given free to everyone else so why should I start taking money now? These are photos that I took during the filming of "The Help" in Fondren. No telling how many times those photos have been copied and pasted all over the internet. We had an example of that in a recent post. At least I'll probably get a legitimate photo credit this time--but I've been falsely promised photo credits in the past to the point where I no longer even expect to see my name in print.

I went out to shoot videos last Saturday and at the last moment decided to take my best Canon camera with me. Don't know exactly why I grabbed the Canon since I still have a severe mental block about editing photos. I think my angst about editing is connected to the realization that there are probably 10,000 photos waiting to be edited. It's just such a big task to tackle. Yes, I should break this big job into small pieces and chip away, but sometimes I think sitting at a computer and working on photos is also chipping away at my spirit.

Well anyway, I think this is a pretty good photo from the show last Saturday and I posted it to facebook this evening.  The lead singer from the other band "liked" it--and that was the extent of the reaction to the photo.

One thing I've seen with facebook is that it really isn't any different from being back in high school.  There are the popular folks who can post a photo of their evening meal and get 19 likes, and there are the other folks who generally are close to invisible.  I know which group I'm in and that's something I can live with just as I lived with the realities of high school.  Facebook is a tool for me to gather information and a means for me to occasionally prop up friends with comments and "likes".  It's not really a place where I need to be spending time posting thoughts and photos.

-----I reread this post and it sounds a bit gloomy.  In my mind it's not gloomy, just realistic.  I've always been more of a stay in the background person and that's not a bad place to be.  One can accomplish a lot from the background, one can be very comfortable in the background.  I need to just relax and don't worry about likes and hit counts and photo credits and all those measures of "success".  I just need to be me--something I probably haven't been for several years now.

Words Words Words Words Words Words Words Words

Words--communication--information. So much data coming at us every day. How do we find the time to filter through it all? How do we find the time to process it all?

I was looking on my main email account this evening and saw that the inbox contained 4,150 items. There are thousands of additional emails that I've moved to specific folders for friends, family members, blog messages, eBay, facebook, Millsaps items, etc.  These 10,000+ emails kept are far less than the number of emails that have been received and deleted. 

Remember back in the pre-internet days?  It almost seems like being back in the Stone Age.  The mail only brought a few items each day.  Our news sources were basically limited to the daily newspaper, magazines, and whatever we managed to catch on the radio and the television evening news.  We talked on the telephone occasionally, but not like today when some people have a phone hooked to their ear most of their waking hours.  We didn't keep up day-to-day with people in other areas because writing letters was time consuming and calling long distance was costly. 

Do we now have too much communication?  Sometimes it feels that way.  Isn't it nice and relaxing when you turn off your cell phone and are able to get away from emails for a few days.  Maybe a long weekend when you take 72 hours "off the grid".  But then, after that 72 hours, don't you feel like you need to plug back in and catch back up.  What have I missed about my friends on facebook?  What do I need to catch up on regarding my favorite sports teams or television shows?  Do I have invitations that need an RSVP?  Were there joyous or sad occasions where I need to pass along a congratulation or a condolence?

And the beat goes on.  Dealing with a tidal wave of words and an over saturation of information is just part of life in the 21st century.  The key is finding efficient ways to deal with the volume, finding ways to sift though the many and find the few things worthy of our attention.  And for me as a writer, I need to keep working on coming up with words that are worthy of attention instead of words that just add to the noise.  (BTW--I was cleaning up the inbox emails beginning with "A" this evening and there was a blog comment from "anonymous" referring to the post "The Value of a Dime". I went back and reread that post--it's one of those rare times when I didn't have doubts about the value of what I had written for the blog.)